sample ceremony 4

Warm-up the witnesses
Bellsound
Processional
Welcome

Dear friends, we gather here at this hour to witness and to celebrate the drawing together of two separate lives. We have come so that this man, ___________, and this woman, ___________, may be joined in marriage. All significant experiences are of concern to our fellow men and women. Two people in love do not live in isolation from the wider embraces of humanity. To achieve love is not to be absolved of social responsibility. So it is that the institution of marriage is ordained as a public recognition of the private experience of love, and as a sanctifying of both parties to its great purposes. At the same time it represents the desire of ____ and ____ to share their joy in each other with you, their family and their friends.

Ten years ago, one of these two said to the other “I love you.” The other responded, “You can’t love me, it’s only been a week!” Both were speaking the truth as they knew it -- one knowing that these feelings were deeper, greater than any he had felt in his 18 years of life, and one knowing that as good as this was, there could be so much more. In the ten years since this first truth telling, ____ and ____ have gone their own ways and come together again multiple times. Throughout, each has been searching for truth, meaning and joy in their lives. They have found these in part in one another and today they say to each other and to the world that they will continue this never ending search in partnership.

Prayer

Chalice Lighting
The chalice is a central symbol in the Unitarian Universalist faith which ____ and ____ share. The words we use today for the lighting and extinguishing of the chalice are words that have gained deep meaning for ____ and ____ through years of use at their home church. As Diana lights the chalice, please join in reading the words printed in your order of service.

all: May this flame kindle within us
the warmth of compassion,
the glow of love,
the fire of commitment,
and the light of truth.

Reading
Marion, a dear friend of the family offers words of her own writing for this occasion.

Blessings
From time immemorial, weddings have been public occasions where family and friends gather to express the joy and approval they feel for the new union. Would the parents of ____ and ____ now rise?

Virgil, on this special day, ____ thanks you for all you are and all you have given her: strong principles and ethics, decisiveness, and an understanding of the importance of family. Do you now welcome ____ into your family and bless ____ and ____ as they enter into this new relationship?
If so, say “I do.”

Clayton, ____ is grateful to you for all you are and all you have given him: your sense of humor and humility, unconditional love and support, and for being his cheerleader at innumerable tennis matches. Do you now welcome ____ into your family and bless ____ and ____ as they enter into this new relationship?
If so, say “I do.”

Nancy, you have been ____’s role model and inspiration to make the world a more just place. She has learned from you compassion, generosity, the importance of the search for meaning and love of life. For these and more she is grateful. Do you now welcome ____ into your family and bless ____ and ____ as they enter into this new relationship?
If so, say “I do.”

Sondra, you have given ____ support and independence, ambition, confidence and family traditions. Most of all, you have given ____ much advice over the years which never included the suggestion to dump ____ for which they both are grateful, because as this family knows, you are always right. Do you now welcome ____ into your family and bless ____ and ____ as they enter into this new relationship?
If so, say “I do.”

Gathered family and friends, ____ and ____ are grateful for your presence here today and thank you for the varied roles you have played in their lives. And so I ask, do you who care for ____ and ____ give them your blessings now as they enter into this new relationship?
If so, say “We do.”

Reflections on Marriage and Love
Diana, who, as ____’s mentor helped her survive her first year of teaching, and Kirsten, ____ and ____’s extrovert friend who helped them find their spiritual home, will share some reflections on marriage and love.

Address to the couple
____ and ____, it has been a joy to get to know you the past few years and to witness your seemingly endless delight in one another, and now it is a great joy and honor to celebrate this love with you today.

What marriage is all about is what life is all about -- growth and companionship. In marriage you are building not just a relationship, but a life together, a way of being in the world. In a relationship, in building a life, two people must keep growing and changing, following their own passions and bringing these back to the relationship. This marriage will be a constant adventure. While exciting and wonderful, the adventure will not be without conflict, and you will need something to carry you through those times.

Your parents and your gathered family and friends have promised to stand with you through this adventure, but most of all, you will need to stand with one another.

Remember to laugh together but also to be serious at times, to go for walks, to smile at one another, to watch the Simpsons together. Remember that hugs and backrubs are important, and friends, and pasta and playing tag, and quiet time. Notice the seasons changing together, the sunsets and sunrises. Keep telling the truth and searching for meaning and joy together. Most of all, try not to get too tired or stressed to appreciate one another for simply being there.

If you can do this, you will be companions to one another. You will create a bond strong but flexible, that will tie you together as one, yet allow each to be yourself, a bond that will sustain you through the ebb and flow of your relationship.

Are you ready now to make the promises that will bind your lives together?

Vows
You have known each other for ten years, through the first glance of acquaintance to this moment of commitment. At some moment you decided to marry.

From that moment of yes until this moment of Yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or on long walks -- all those sentences that began with “I will and you will and we will” -- those late-night talks that included “someday” and somehow” and “maybe” - and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of wedding.

The symbolic vows you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed -- well, I meant it all, every word.”

Catch hands now and face one another to make your vows. Look at one another -- remember this moment in time.

Before this moment you have been many things to one another -- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these ten years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never be quite the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, This - is my husband. This -- is my wife.
(adapted from Robert Fulgum)

____, please repeat after me . . .

I, ____, do take you, ____,
To be the wife of my days,
the companion of my house,
the friend of my life.
We shall bear together
whatever trouble and sorrow
life may lay upon us.
And we shall share together
whatever good and joyful things
life may bring us.
With these words
and all the unspoken words of my heart,
I marry you
and bind my life to yours.

Rings
____ and ____, you have chosen to exchange rings today, traditional symbols of wholeness, continuity and the joining of two lives. Let these rings be a reminder always to yourselves and to the world of the profound commitment you have made together today, and of the endurance of your love for one another.

As you place the ring on the others finger, repeat after me.

____ : ____, I give you this ring, as a symbol of our covenant.

Unity Candle
These candles now lighted before you symbolize each of you in you individual uniqueness and in you families of origin. This larger candle still unlit is to symbolize your coming together to share a new life with each other. Like these candles, each of you have been a separate, independent person. Each of you has brought to this moment a wealth of personality, of background and of experiences, and of strengths and weaknesses. And now you have come to be joined in a new life together.

Come now, and light a new light, using the fire each of you has brought to this place, to this moment. But do not extinguish the former lights, lest there be less light and warmth.
(light candle)
May all these light burn brightly, and the warmth of your love for each other and for others be the greater.

Pronouncement
Will the congregation please rise.

____ and ____, you have been blessed, made vows, and exchanged rings. What you desire has come to pass. I ask those assembled to join us in this pronouncement.

all: We, your family and friends, now pronounce you married!

Kiss

Benediction and Extinguishing the Chalice
May your love for one another grow deeper and stronger through the years.
May the good true light within guide you on your journey together.
May you learn from one another what it is to be loved completely and wholly, and then may you turn that love outward and share it with the world.
And long, long years from now, may you look at one another and be able to say, “Because of you, I have lived the life I always wanted to live -- because of you I have become the person I longed to be.”

Will you all join in the words for extinguishing the chalice.

all: It is for today,
and for times we shall never see,
so let us be about the task,
the materials are very precious,
and they are very perishable.
May it be so.

Recessional